Too old to date, too young to get married.

2015 and everyone is getting married!

Scrolling down my Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. It's all about relationships, weddings and babies. 

My bestfriend safely delivered her baby boy this week and also another girlfriend of mine is getting married. Weddings & babies here & there!

Deep down inside

Only He knows. 

Or is it because i started off early?

Here's the thing.

I experienced the sweetness in having a relationship way too early during my schooldays when i was naive and not-so-innocent. It was more like a 'monkey-love' kinda thing. 

It does not last long (thank God). 

It didn't work out although the person was devastated over it. 

However, he moved on and got engaged but yet to decide on a wedding date. 

Gosh, my ex is getting married sooner or later! (Poor me, not!)

But, it seems like it. Pity me. 

He's happy but i'm not. 

Then, came another guy who swept my feet and took my heart away and i couldnt be any happier about it.

Alas, i think, he's gone too. 

No news

No updates.

Just, gone.

It reflected upon me.

Maybe it is because i started off too soon?

Maybe i'm all out of love for someone since i was betrayed and i was left alone?

Aku yakin.

Kerna aku berjinak-jinak dalam dunia percintaan remaja yang telah membawa aku entah kemana

Buatkan cinta hakiki ku jua telah pergi entah ke mana.

Cinta itu suatu perasaan yang hadirnya cuma sekali pada insan yang benar-benar dan selayaknya di miliki.

Jika manis cinta itu sudah kau mamah pada awal usia, kau tak rasa manis nya cinta itu di kemudian hari. 

Aku bermonolog sendirian. 

Mungkin aku sudah merasai cinta pada waktu yang salah. 

Aku sudah tidak punya rasa cinta lagi.

Aku tidak mampu untuk merasa bahagia lagi.

Bila tiba waktu yang sepatutnya aku merasai manis nya cinta, cinta itu sudah tiada. 

Orang bercinta bila umur 22,23,24,25. Engko bercinta monyet masa 16 tahun. 

Bila dah 26 tahun, mula la gelabah takde orang nak. *setepek kat muka sendiri*

I keep saying to myself

"If someone who can't accept me at my worst, should not deserve me at my best"

I.Will.Survive. 

#MisiMencariJodoh

Even my mom is no longer objecting the idea of me finding my Mr. Alpha Male. 

But i do not have anyone. 

I pray that Allah has set me up with the best of His choice. amin!

The Hashtag Project 1.0

Hashtag #VisitMyIG! Lulz.

Apparently i'm in awe with my own IG shot with the right caption to describe how i felt at that time. 

Supposedly it's goes like this:-

"Distance means nothing

When the heart is raving

For what she's been waiting"

And she's still hoping....

Nukilan Tengah Malam

Si dia yang ditinggalkan cinta

Setelah bertahun setia

Si dia yang ditinggalkan sendiri

Setelah harapan diberi

Si dia yang ditinggalkan sepi

Setelah egonya di kuis tepi

Pergilah sayang

Pergilah cinta

Jika masih wujud sekelumit cuma

Sayang mu itu

Cukup lah buat ku

Agar ku tahu

Aku pernah wujud dalam hati mu

151214

Haliqa Arays

Money: Can't Live Without Em. But You Got to Survive

Salam

Hey.

Quick post.

Tomorrow i'll be facing my first ever exam as LLB student. *fingers crossed*

Cut the chase.

Yes. I just got 'reimbursed' for my car servicing fees from my dad. 

I used my money first and did not intend to claim it straight away. I waited till it's 'paycheck time'. 

You gotta know when is the right time, how to ask for money and to whom you should ask money from.

Dad usually pays my car service fees. When i used my money (first) to pay for the fees, mom made a remark that sounded like this. 

"banyak duit boleh bayar duit servis?"

I just smirked

Usually Dad will give me the money whenever i go for car service routine. 

Since it's due for service and it happens that I have enough money, why not just proceed?

Dad 'reimbursed' my money and said

"Duit servis berapa? Bagitau la berapa. Bukan nya (me) banyak duit pun"

It's not about how much is your money. It's about sufficiency.

not that i do illegal things for money. So don't be surprise if I've got extra cash! 

I don't remember the exact amount of my account balance but i know it's suficient.

FYI, i work for the money. Though it's not much but i know I can survive. Allah helped me through with my financial securities. 

Alhamdulillah, i've never in short of money. Did not apply for study loan. Managed to go makan-makan and able to belanja my friends too. 

Indeed I am grateful. 

Yes, I do rely on my parents indirectly for financial support but I DO NOT ask them directly like;

"Pa, nak duit"

That's EMBARRASING. 

Ocasionally i'll buy my personal supplies whenever my parents went to the groceries store. So i 'add up' my things into the household expenses to cut my cost. (Yeah. Be witty)

Then, my mom would pump up the gas for me. But lately my dad would handover the money for petrol. It's embarrasing to accept.

I did refused them once in a while. 

Oh, I did asked for money but it's for the benefit of me and my siblings whenever want to go out for a movie or makan-makan. It's not much of a deal. Is it? 

In short, as for me, if I want my parents to support me financially, i prefer them to do it indirectly; like buying me lunch and dinner whenever they visited me on weekends, filling up petrol for me, buy me groceries. I think that would be enough. 

Don't hand in money. It's like receiving bribe or something. Maybe some would think "apa la tolak rezeki"

Rezeki is one thing, but if you're able to support yourself, why beg? 

Go work! Go sell something! Go earn the money so you'll learn how hard it is to earn some.

Yes. I do online business. I am willing to sell anything that I could think of. 

I am furious whenever some of my friends claimed "ala minta je duit dengan parents" or "nanti mama papa bagi la duit"

Hek eleh.

Ingat parents aku cop duit?

I do not receive monthly allowance like some of my friends do. 

I do not have any fixed amount of allowance. 

I'm not rich but Alhamdulillah we're just plain ordinary people.

For some, they might be rich but they do not have the opportunity and ability.

Vice versa.

You just have to be content and grateful for what you have:)

Earn the money. Do not beg. 

Oh. Mungkin aku tak kerja lagi dan tiada tanggungan, kot. 

Wait. I did pay my phone bills and sometimes send money to my brother. 

Is it counted as tanggungan? 

Nah.

Liability is liability. How you spend is the key point.

I believe Allah will help us go thru our difficulties.

Hopefully i'll be able to support myself and my family when I started working.

InsyaAllah. Amin. 

I believe in the power of sadaqah.

If you feel you're in dire need of money, do sadaqah even for RM1

Hopefully i'll practise what i preached! (Gulp)

Mufti Menk Live In KL

Salam

Just a quick post. 

Yes. Finally it's my very 1st time to attend Mufti menk's sermon/ceramah. 

I am so grateful to Allah that has allowed me to attend and to listen to him. In addition to that, the schedule has been shifted (before this; the paid ones are on Saturday. It's been re-scheduled to Sunday) so I can attend the sermons on Saturday! Alhamdulillah. Yea. The sermons held at the Masjids are free. Indeed Allah is Knowing. 

Tak dapat datang yg berbayar, dapat datang yg percuma pun jadi la kan? 

The first sermon is held at Karangkraf. We came as early as possible to avoid massive Friday traffic. 

3 beautiful things happened as I wrote this down:

1. Managed to get a copy of the magazine that I submitted my entry.

2. Managed to meet and greet Mizz Nina

3. To be able to meet the CEO of Karangkraf. He helped us personally by giving us directions to the Masjid and the event venue. 

Most of all, to be able to sit and listen to Mufti Menk's sermon.

I did hear his Live Friday Khutbah today. That was my very first time listening to him. 

I am truly happy to see sisters and also brothers from many places came to this event. To hear and to gain knowledge from a very pious man. Subhanallah. 

I see beautiful sisters everywhere with their hijab and above all, with their niqab on. MashaAllah so pretty and i am truly envious of them (the Niqabis). 

So yes. It was a blessing on Friday. 

Put your intention to the right path and Allah will direct you to it. 

Allah will direct you to where you would want to be. Allahuakbar.

P/s: me and my friend were star strucked to meet and greet with Mizz Nina. She's 10times prettier without any make up on. That's what we called transformation. Absolute transformation. 

May Allah bless us all. Amin. InshaAllah.

Cerpen Susur Masa yang tak sempat nak siapkan

Salam..

Semangat nak menulis ku seakan berkubur.
Blog pun jarang nak update. heh.
Malas.
Banyak benda nak di luahkan dalam bentuk penulisan tetapi jejari yang tak runcing ni malas nak taip biarpun dah install Blogger apps dalam phone.

Di sebabkan dah terlepas dateline untuk hantar #CerpenSusurMasa kat @_ahmadboii , post kat sini je lah cerpen yang sekerat jalan itu..

p/s: fret not, luckily my write up about my Manila been published in a magazine. I wouldn't be so brokenhearted that I didn't manage to submit my cerpen..

here goes....

“Sebenarnya Lily nak promote insurans. Insurans ni cover medical dan financial. Lily dah setahun amik insurans ni”

Aku dah agak.

Persahabatan masa kini bukan begitu mudah. Oh, maafkan aku. Bukan sahabat tetapi kawan. Ada beza yang amat ketara antara dua terma itu. Dialog di atas bukan lah dialog antara sahabat tetapi dialog antara kawan. Masakan tiada angin, tiba-tiba sahaja pokok bergoyang. Tiba-tiba sahaja terpampang di chatbox Facebook bertanyakan khabar.

Mahu saja aku semburkan ayat pedas

“Apa kau nak?”

Aku ada adab dan santun dan juga ada didikan agama. Lantas jari ku membalas ringkas

“Oh hai Lily.sihat saja. Kenapa ni?”

Biar soalan tepat pada pangkal hatinya. Tak perlu nak bermukadimmah dua,tiga baris biarpun Facebook chat tu percuma. Cuma makan kuota internet kau sahaja. Melainkan kau curi WiFi orang.

“Eh, tak ada apa. Saja Tanya khabar. Masih belajar lagi?”

Soalan paling aku malas nak jawab adalah soalan pasal ni…

‘Masih belajar lagi ke?” atau “Kerja ke belajar?” atau “Bila habis belajar?”

Learning is a life-long journey. Tak akan kau ingat orang tu perlu belajar sampai Degree sahaja? Atau sampai Master sahaja? Apa jadi pada mereka yang ambil lesen sebagai juruterbang? Mereka yang memilih menjadi kelasi kapal? Mereka itu semua tidak memalui proses pembelajaran macam kau?

Aku menjawab seringkas mungkin kerana aku tahu bukan itu tujuan dia untuk chatting dengan ku. Kemudian tiada balasan daripada Lily.

Heh, Nampak tak permainan dia di situ? Manusia macam ini kalau ada banjir datang dan aku diberi peluang untuk selamatkan hanya seorang mangsa, antara seorang yang tidak dikenali dengan insan bergelar kawan sebegini perangai, aku lebih rela pilih insan tidak dikenali itu.

Dua hari kemudia Lily hantar mesej melalui inbox Facebook. Nah, panjang lebar penjelasan pasal insurans. Bukan perbuatan keji pun hendak mempromosikan kebaikan insurans. Tetapi cara dia datang pada kau tu yang buat kau tak nak baca pun mesej dia. Kau boleh promosi insurans kau secara am biar semua orang tahu dan boleh ambil tahu. Come on lah, orang yang kau tak berapa nak rapat tiba-tiba tegur kau secara private message. Ada dua kemungkinan je orang approach kau sebegitu.

Pertama, “Hai Salmah, sihat? Nak mintak alamat boleh? Nak hantar kad kahwin” Salmah pun membalas “OMG! Tahniah! Bila?” and the conversation continues.

Kedua, insan yang meminta pertolongan. Bukan aku kata meminta tolong itu suatu yang hina. Bukan. Kalau minta tolong sesuatu seperti sedekah dan sewaktu dengannya, aku berbesar hati nak tolong. Kalau minta beli barang, promosi barang, promosi produk atau tolong jual kan barang hanya kerana kau seorang tweetfamous atau FacebookFamous atau InstaFamous, kirim salam dan minta ampun dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki saja lah. Itu nama nya mengambil kesempatan. Biasalah kan, bila kawan kau seorang yang terkenal, ramai yang datang selit celah kangkang. Bila kawan kau seorang rakyat marhaen yang biasa saja, yang tiada akaun laman sosial, kau anggap dia jumud.

Hell no.

Bagi menjaga hati dan tatasusila, aku tidak membalas apa-apa kepada Lily. Bukan kami tidak berkawan. Bukan. Cuma, perhubungan antara kami seperti sebuah handphone Nokia. Bila iPhone dah rosak, baru nak cari Nokia sebagai spare. Aku bukan spare phone okay. Kenapa dia tak tanya saja kawan-kawan dia yang lain? Malu? Takut kena gelak sebab jadi ejen insurans? Bukan kau buat salah pun.

Malas nak fikir pasal kawan sebegini. Kawan-kawan aku ramai juga jadi ejen insurans. Tapi mereka datang cara berhemah. Tak perlu bermuka-muka.

bertapa tergantung nya cerita ini sampai tajuk pun tak ada. heh.

Lain kali aje la jari ini menulis...menaip barangkali.. =)

Apa Best nya Jadi Peguam Ni?

Salam.

Ha.. tajuk nak propa je.
Harus lah kannn...

Sebab hari Jumaat ni ada masa lebih sikit nak lepak dengan kawan-kawan masa Degree BLS. Masing-masing gigih balik awal dari cuti mid semester break semata-mata nak siapkan kerja-kerja di firm masing-masing. Wahh gitu. Gigih sangat kawan-kawan aku ni. Yela sejak masuk LLb Hons ni, yang paling malas waktu degree BLS pun jadi manusia rajin tahu tak? Nampak tak apa LLb Hons dah buat kat kawan-kawan aku?
Bagi mereka yang tertanya-tanya Law Degree UiTM, nanti aku cerita kat entri lain. Ni nak fokus topik lain yang di ilhamkan daripada kehidupan kawan-kawan LLb aku tu. Nak jumpa sorang-sorang bukan main susah. haih


Apa best nya jadi Loyar ni?

Selain mem-loyar buruk.. which is the lamest joke I've ever heard since forever!

Aku bukan lah orang paling layak nak komen pasal kehidupan hitam putih seorang Peguam ni. Sebab aku baru sangat bekerja. Belum pun jadi Pelatih dalam kamar (Chambering). Tapi aku hanya boleh bagi apa yang aku dapat lihat dari kaca mata budak baru bekerja ni....

1. Mana ada lawyer handsome pun!
Mungkin aku belum jumpa yang handsome. Mungkin. Setakat 3 tahun belajar Pengajian Undang-Undang ni, tak ada seorang pun yang boleh di kategorikan sebagai eye candy. Kalau ada pun, aku pernah terpandang seorang. Kalau dua kali toleh tu makna nya ada la tarikan di situ. (amboi). Kalau sekali toleh je, faham-faham la kan..

2.Lawyer pun sengkek.
Ya benar. Nampak macam masyuk. Tapi percaya lah, segala nya bermula dari bawah. Kawan sepejabat aku bercerita pasal budak-budak Chambering di sekitar Shah Alam di bayar dengar kadar RM300 sebulan. Itu kadar paling minimum yang pernah aku dengar. Tapi ye lah kan, cakap-cakap orang ni kita dengar je. Tapi bayangkan la RM300 sebulan tu macam mana kau nak harungi hidup di saat kau mula-mula bekerja.
Kalau ada financial support lain, Alhamdulillah.
Cuba kalau mereka yang baru mula bekerja dan acah-acah nak berdikari guna duit sendiri, bagaimana?
Ni bukan nak mengadu gaji sikit atau tak bersyukur. Sebelum nak komen atau komplen kata tak bersyukur, cuba anda di tawarkan jumlah sebanyak itu....kalau anda terima dan bersetuju dengan niat untuk belajar, Alhamdulillah. Mulia sungguh sifat anda.
waima anda lepasan sarjana muda ke sarjana tua ke, kalau pengalam tu sikit atau tiada langsung, tak perlu nak demand bayaran gaji yang tinggi. Harap maklum.
Satu lagi, kalau firm yang baru atau firm yang kecil, mereka akan buat 2,3 cabang yang berlainan. Kalau buat satu cabang (i.e conveyancing) sahaja, kalau file semua dah setel, mana nak cekup duit lagi?

3.Lawyer dan Marketing
Ya benar. Memang di nyatakan dalam Legal Profession Act dan tatacara peguam yang ada bahawa Peguam tak cari Pelanggan. Tapi dek kelambakan loyar-loyar yang ada, Peguam juga kena turun padang dan buat marketing sendiri. Networking itu tak di nafikan memang sangat perlu dan penting dalam memastikan pejabat peguam anda tu sentiasa berbunyi dengan panggilan telefon atau mesin fax dan bukannya bunyi aircond semata.
We need to pay bills too.

Mungkin pekerjaan Peguam ni gah pada zaman filem Ibu Mertuaku sahaja kot. Ibu Mertua sekarang ni kebanyakan dah terbuka sikit dalam memilih calon menantu. eheh..
..to be continued...